“Do not mistake my appetite for apathy!”—Orion’s Take on Thor
Bad movies can sometimes be good. Stilted acting, corny costumes, and a little kitsch can act to render an otherwise terrible film quite enjoyable. However, when a film transcends this kind of enjoyable terribleness, it plunges into the abyss of irredeemable stupidity. Even the golden god of thunder can’t save this film from the trash can.
I don’t know how it is possible to make a movie like Eclipse look good. Somehow, despite the formidable presence of a legend like Anthony Hopkins, this movie just sucked. Maybe it was the utter incoherence of the plot—it’s as if the director couldn’t decide which angle to take (fantasy, sci-fi, comedy, romance?) so everything is smashed up into something that resembles a pile of sludge. Though Chris Hemsworth does the best he can with a character that doesn’t do more than smirk and flex his muscles, but that simply is not enough. What happened to Natalie Portman? Watching her play an astrophysicist was as painful as getting teeth pulled.
The good parts? What good parts? No, ok, there were some redeemable scenes. The scenes in which Thor beats some humans up is fun, but all the mystical/magical/fantasy fight scenes are an exercise choppy editing and more incoherency. The humor is offbeat and often quite funny, but it simply can’t justify a terrible plot and even worse character development. I don’t know what to say to such incompetency.
I guess all we can do is wait for Captain America and cross our fingers.